Chen Lu Tonglu City, Zhejiang Province
I was born in the countryside in the 1980s. My family has engaged in farming for a living for generations. To enter the college and break free from the poor and backward rural life, I kept studying hard. When I was in high school, I came into contact with The History of Western Arts and saw many superb paintings such as Genesis, The Garden of Eden, The Last Supper, and so on. Through them, I learned that in heaven there is a God who created all things. Thus, I was filled with yearning for him.
After graduating from college, I successfully found a good job and married a satisfactory husband, and finally realized the wish of my forefathers and mine—breaking free from the hard farming life that continued for generations. In 2008, the birth of my child added many joys to my life. Facing everything I owned before my eyes, I thought that I would be very happy and satisfied. However, when I was enjoying the good life that everyone admired and longed for, I could never get free from the unexplainable sense of emptiness in the depth of my heart. I was very perplexed and helpless with it.
 |
| Reading God's Word | The Picture of Eastern Lightning |
On the morning of December 21, 2012, we, over ten brothers and sisters, were having a meeting in a host home. Suddenly, there was a rapid knocking and shouting, “Open up! Open up! We’re checking the room!” Barely had a sister opened the door when six or seven evil policemen with batons in hands rushed in aggressively. They separated us rudely and then began to rummage through the boxes and chests. A young sister went forward to ask them, “We’re visiting our friends. We didn’t break the law. By what right do you check our room?” One of the evil policemen said fiercely, “Behave yourself! Stand still as I told you. Shut up if I don’t let you speak!” After saying that, he violently threw the sister to the floor. And he threatened, “I’ll beat you again if you resist!” The sister’s fingernail was broken immediately and her finger bled. Seeing the evil policemen’s ferocious manner, I was indignant and kind of scared. So, I prayed silently, asking God to give me strength and faith and keep me so that I could stand testimony. After the prayer, my heart calmed down a lot. The evil policemen confiscated many gospel materials and books of God’s word. After that, they pushed us into the police cars.
As soon as we arrived at the police station, the evil policemen took away all the things from us and asked about our names and addresses and who the church leaders were, and so on. I was afraid that I would get my family involved, so I didn’t say anything. Another sister also said nothing. Then the evil policemen regarded the two of us as heads and were going to interrogate us separately. At that time, I was very scared, because I had heard that the evil policemen were very fierce to nonlocal people. Now I was listed as the prime one to be interrogated, so definitely I would be in trouble. Just when I was very upset and lived in fear, I heard the young sister next to me praying, “O God, you’re our strong tower and our shelter. Satan is under your feet. I’m willing to live by your word and stand testimony to satisfy you!” At those words, I was enlightened in my heart, “Right, God is our strong tower. Satan is under God’s feet. What shall I fear? As long as I rely on God and cooperate with him, I’ll surely overcome satan!” Immediately, I wasn’t afraid, and at the same time I felt very ashamed. When encountering things, the sister could live by God’s word and didn’t lose faith in God, while I was timid and cowardly, without any backbone of a believer in God. I thanked God for his love. He encouraged and helped me through the sister’s prayer, so that I no longer feared the evil police’s despotic power. I made a resolution inwardly, “Since I’m arrested today, I’ll certainly stand testimony to satisfy God and never be a coward to disappoint God’s heart!”
Around 10 a.m., two evil policemen handcuffed me and took me to a room for separate interrogation. One evil policeman questioned me in the local dialect and I couldn’t understand him, so I asked what he was saying. Unexpectedly, my question infuriated them. The evil policeman beside him roared, “You don’t regard us as man! …” While saying that, he rushed forward and grabbed my hair and pulled me back and forth. I was disoriented from his pulling, my scalp ached unbearably as if it would be torn off, and my hairs were strewn all over the floor. Then, the other evil policeman roared at me fiercely, “You refuse a toast only to drink a forfeit. Speak up! Who asked you to preach the gospel?” I was very indignant and then answered, “Preaching the gospel is my duty.” I had barely finished my word when he ran forward and grabbed my hair and slapped my face violently. While slapping me, he cursed, “I’ll see if you dare to preach again! I’ll see if you dare to preach again!” My face felt painfully hot from slapping and soon it became swollen. The evil policeman didn’t stop until he became tired. Then, holding the cell phone and the MP4 player searched out from me, he asked me about the church closely. I dealt with him by wisdom. Suddenly, the evil policeman asked, “You’re not local. You speak very good Mandarin. You’re definitely not an ordinary person. Confess honestly! What are you doing here? Who sent you here? Who is your leader? How do you contact the church here? Where do you live? …” When I heard that the evil policeman regarded me as an important person and resolved to get the information about the church from me, my heart leapt into my throat, and I kept calling to God to give me faith and strength. Through praying, I gradually calmed down. Then I answered, “I know nothing.” Hearing me say that, he pounded the table violently and roared, “You just wait! There’ll be a lot for you in a while!” After that, he picked up my MP4 player and fiddled with it. I was very afraid and didn’t know what methods he would use to deal with me next. So, I called to God desperately. Unexpectedly, the player played the recordings in Fellowship and Preaching About Life Entering In, “… Do you think such a person can be saved? He’s not faithful to Christ. He’s not of one mind and one heart with Christ. When encountering the tribulation, he breaks away from Christ. He goes his own way. He betrays God and follows satan. … When the great red dragon rules, in experiencing God’s work, if one can rebel against the great red dragon and stand on God’s side, and no matter how it persecutes, hunts, and afflicts him, he can absolutely obey God and be faithful to God unto death, such a person is a real overcomer and a person who is really of one mind and one heart with God.” When hearing the words “break away,” I was cut to the heart. I spontaneously thought that when the Lord Jesus worked, there were many people who followed him and enjoyed his grace. However, when the Lord Jesus was crucified and the Roman soldiers wantonly hunted Christians, many of them ran away because of timidity. What a grievous thing to God! Today, what’s the difference between me and those ungrateful people? When enjoying God’s grace and blessing, I followed God with full confidence. However, now when I face the tribulation and need to suffer and pay the price, I’m timid and scared. How could I comfort God’s heart? To save us, these corrupt people, God, clearly knowing that he will encounter great dangers when he is incarnated and comes to China, the atheistic country, still comes to this fortress of demons without hesitation and endures the devil’s hunting and persecution the whole time and personally leads us to walk the way of pursuing the truth. For the sake of our salvation, he would rather sacrifice his everything and dedicate his all. But as a person who enjoys God’s salvation, why couldn’t I expend a little for God? At that time, I was greatly rebuked in my conscience. I really hated myself for being too selfish and worthless. Moreover, I felt deeply that God was full of expectation and concern for me. God deeply knew that my stature was small, and that facing satan’s despotic power, I was timid in my heart. So, he used the evil policeman to play the preaching recordings for me and made me understand his will and thus stand testimony to satisfy him in the tribulation and persecution. For a moment, I was moved by God’s love into tears, and I couldn’t help pouring out to God silently, “O God! I don’t want to be a person who breaks away from you and grieves your heart. I’m willing to share joys and sufferings with you. No matter how satan tortures me, I’ll resolutely stand testimony and comfort your heart.”
Suddenly, the evil policeman turned off the player with a snap and said to me fiercely, “Right, I’m the great red dragon. Today I’m here to torture you!” After that, they ordered me to stand on the floor barefoot, and handcuffed my right hand to an iron hoop in the middle of a cement block. As the block was low, one evil policeman asked me to bend and not to squat down or prop my leg with my left hand. After some time, I couldn’t stand and wanted to squat down. Then he shouted at me, “Don’t squat down! If you want to suffer less, you’d better confess quickly!” So I had to hold on. I didn’t know how long had passed when my feet became freezing cold and my legs were aching and numb. I really couldn’t stand and then I squatted down. The evil policeman lifted me up and brought a glass of cold water and poured it down my neck and I shivered with cold. Later, he removed my handcuffs and held me down on a wooden chair and then twisted my hands backward and handcuffed them to both sides of the chair. And he opened the window and turned on the air conditioner. Instantly, gusts of chilly wind came over me and I trembled with cold and couldn’t help becoming kind of weak within. In distress, I kept praying silently, asking God to give me the will to suffer and strength, so that I could overcome the weakness of my flesh. At that time, a hymn of God’s word guided me within, “Although the flesh suffers a bit, do not accept satan’s thoughts. … Faith is a single-plank bridge. Whoever fears death can hardly cross it. Whoever gives up his life can cross it securely.” (from “Only If We Have True Faith Will We Have Testimony” in Follow the Lamb and Sing New Songs) God’s words made me understand this: Satan tries to make me betray God through torturing my flesh. If I care for my flesh, I’ll fall into its trick. I kept repeating those words silently and warned myself that I should always guard against satan’s schemes and reject the thoughts given by it. Later, the evil policeman brought a large jug of cold water and poured it down my neck and all my clothes got saturated. At that moment, I felt as if falling into an ice cave…. Seeing that the evil policemen were so base and malicious, I was full of indignation in my heart: This gang of devils, in order to force me to betray God, can use any means; I’ll never let their schemes succeed! Seeing me trembling violently, an evil policeman grabbed my hair and forced me to look up at the sky through the window and dug at me, “Aren’t you cold? Ask your God to come to save you!” Seeing me not swayed, he poured another jug of cold water on me and turned down the air conditioner to the lowest temperature and had it blow on me. Gusts of biting air accompanied with the cold wind hit me again. I huddled myself up from the cold and was nearly frozen, feeling as if my whole body had congealed. At that time, my faith weakened little by little. I began to think wildly, “On such a cold day, I’m poured with cold water and blown by the air-conditioner. Are they going to freeze me to death alive? If I die here, none of my family will know….” Just when I fell into darkness, I suddenly thought of the suffering of crucifixion Jesus underwent for redeeming mankind. The Lord Jesus said, “And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.” (Matthew 10:28) I also thought of the words in a hymn of God’s word, “You will lay down your life willingly for loving God. No matter how God tries you, you will be able to give no thought to your life and willingly give up everything for God and endure everything for God.” (from “I Will Never Give Up Until I Gain God” in Follow the Lamb and Sing New Songs) God’s words encouraged me greatly. Right! God can undergo all kinds of sufferings and even lay down his life for us. Shouldn’t I, a created being, endure all the sufferings for God all the more? Today I can bear testimony for God and this is God’s uplifting. How could I care for my flesh? Even if my life is taken away, I’ll be resolutely faithful to God. Immediately, I was full of passion and particularly encouraged. Then I prayed to God silently, “O God! You gave me the breath. I’d rather die than be a betrayer for an ignoble existence!” Gradually, I didn’t feel so cold any more, which even more made me truly feel God’s company and consolation. The evil policemen interrogated me from noon until around 7 p.m. As they saw that I kept silent all the time, they left me exposed to the cold air in the interrogation room.
After dinner, the evil policemen intensified the interrogation. They threatened me fiercely, “Speak up! Who’s your church leader? If you don’t tell, we have enough means. We’ll let you drink chili water and soapy water and eat shit, and we’ll strip off all your clothes and drag you into the basement to freeze you to death! If you don’t speak today, we’ll interrogate you again tomorrow. We have plenty of time!” The evil policemen’s words made me see clearly that they were not at all human beings, but a gang of devils in human form! The more they threatened me like that, the more I hated them from my heart. I was determined never to yield to them. Seeing that I didn’t give in, they brought a cloth bag and covered my head with it after soaking it in water. Then they held my head, not allowing me to move, and tightened the opening of the bag. As my hands were handcuffed to the chair, I couldn’t move at all. After a short time, I almost suffocated and felt that my whole body was stiff. The evil policemen still thought it wasn’t enough. They lifted the jug and poured the cold water over my nose, and threatened that if I still refused to confess, they would smother me. The wet bag was airtight, and additionally, the water was poured over my nose, so I felt it harder to breathe. It seemed that death was approaching me step by step. I prayed to God silently, “O God, you gave me the breath. Today I should live for you. No matter how the evil policemen torture me, I’ll never betray you. If you need me to sacrifice my life, I’m willing to obey your manipulation and arrangement without any complaint….” The evil policemen still kept torturing me…. Just when my mind became unclear and I almost stopped breathing, the evil policemen suddenly released their grip. I couldn’t help thanking God unceasingly in my heart. I truly experienced that God rules over everything and he cared for and kept me all along. Although I fell into the evil policemen’s hands, God only permitted them to torture my flesh but didn’t allow them to take away my life. At that moment, I had greater faith.
The next noon, several evil policemen dragged another sister and me into a police car and took us to the detention jail. An evil policeman threatened me, “You’re not local. We’ll first lock you up half a year, and then sentence you to three or five years. Anyway, nobody will know.” “Sentenced?” On hearing that I would be sentenced, I couldn’t help becoming kind of weak. I felt that I would be looked down upon if I was imprisoned. Just when I was distressed and weak, God showed grace to me again. I was put into a cell where the detainees were all believers in Almighty God. Although they were in the devil’s den, they didn’t show any fear and encouraged and sustained each other. Seeing me passive and weak, they talked to me about the testimonies of their personal experiences, so that I had faith in God. They also sang the hymn of life experience to encourage me, “You spend for God and I dedicate myself for God. Rejected by our family and slandered by the world, we follow the true God to walk the rough way, dedicating all our strength to the spreading of God’s kingdom gospel. Ah … seeing off springs, autumns, winters, and summers, welcoming sweets and bitters. For satisfying God’s requirements, we will obey God’s arrangements. I step onto the way of loving God to taste the sufferings of life, going through all dangers and difficulties without any complaints. I suffer in my flesh but love God in my heart, running around testifying God’s deeds, testifying God’s deeds. Ah … having endured persecutions and tribulations, and having experienced the frustrations of life, I’m willing to spend my life for carrying out God’s will. Even if I suffer all my life, I will satisfy God’s heart’s desire.” (from “Follow God to Walk the Rough Way” in Follow the Lamb and Sing New Songs) Pondering the words of the hymn and sensing the vitality of life the sisters sent forth, I was greatly encouraged in my heart, “Yes, following the true God to walk the right way of human life in the atheistic country that regards God as its enemy, we’re bound to undergo many sufferings and tribulations. But all these are meaningful. Even if we are imprisoned, it’s an honorable thing. This is because we’re persecuted for pursuing the truth and walking in God’s ways. And it’s totally different from the worldly people’s imprisonment for doing evil and committing crimes.” At that time, I also thought, “Throughout the past ages, to hold fast to the true way, numerous saints were persecuted and humiliated. Today, I’ve gained from God freely so much supply of his words, understood the truths no one could understand throughout the past generations, and known the mysteries no one knew throughout the past generations. But why can’t I endure a little suffering for testifying God?” At that thought, I got up from the weakness once again and was full of faith and strength. And I was determined to rely on God and face the cruel tortures next day.
Ten days later, the evil policemen sent me alone to the detention house. The prisoners there were swindlers, thieves, and the ones involved in illegal operation. As soon as I entered, they said to me, “Those taken here usually can’t get out. We’re all waiting for the judgment. Some have waited for several months.” Looking at them, I had my heart in my mouth, being afraid that they would mistreat me. And I thought, “As the evil policemen have locked me up with these prisoners, I must have been regarded as a felon to be sentenced. I heard that some arrested brothers and sisters were imprisoned for as long as eight years. I don’t know how many years I’ll be sentenced to. I’m only twenty-nine years old. Is my youth really going to be spent locked up in this dark dungeon? How should I go through the future days?” At that time, my hometown, parents, husband, and child seemed to be so far away from me. I felt as if a knife were being twisted in my heart, with tears in my eyes. I knew that I had fallen into satan’s scheme, so I prayed to God desperately, asking him to guide me to get free from the agony. In prayer, I had a clear guidance within: It is permitted by God that I encounter this; it is like Job’s trial and I should make no complaints. Then God’s words inspired me, “Would you rather obey any of my arrangements (even death or destruction) or run away halfway to escape my chastisement?” (from “Concerning ‘Belief,’ What Do You Know?” in The Word Appears in the Flesh) The judgment and chastisement of God’s words made me disgraced and ashamed. I saw that I didn’t at all have a true heart for God. I only said with my mouth that I would bear a good testimony for God, but when I faced the danger of being imprisoned, I wanted to escape. I didn’t have any reality of suffering for the truth. In retrospect, from the moment I was arrested, God accompanied me all the time and didn’t leave me half a step, lest I might get lost and fall down. God’s love for me is real and true, not empty or false. However, I’m selfish and only consider the gain or loss of my flesh, not willing to spend for God in the slightest. Do I have humanity? Do I have conscience? Am I not a cold-blooded animal that doesn’t have heart or spirit? Thinking of that, I was full of remorse and indebtedness in my heart. So I silently prayed to God and confessed, “O God! I’m wrong. I won’t pay lip service and cheat you anymore. I’m willing to live out the reality to satisfy you. Whatever the result of the judgment is, I’ll resolutely stand testimony for you. Please keep my heart.” Just then, the head of the cell came over and said to me, “I don’t know for what reason you’ve been arrested. But we have a slogan, ‘If you confess, you’ll be imprisoned for life. If you resist, you can go home for the New Year.’ If you don’t wanna say it, just keep it to yourself.” I thanked God for his wonderful arrangement. He gave me wisdom through the mouth of the head of the cell. Moreover, instead of being hard on me, the prisoners in the detention house helped me in every aspect. They gave me clothes. For every meal, they would give me more food. They also shared with me the fruits and snacks they bought. Moreover, they helped me finish the laboring task every day. I knew that all that was out of God’s manipulation and arrangement and that God sympathized with my immaturity. Facing God’s love and keeping, I made a firm resolution, “No matter how long I’m sentenced, I’ll stand testimony for God!”
In the detention house, the evil policemen interrogated me every few days. Knowing that I was immune to hard means, they tried soft ones. The evil policeman who interrogated me assumed a kind look and chatted to me, bought me good food, and said that he would introduce me a good job. I knew it was satan’s scheme. So, every time I was interrogated, I prayed to God to keep me from falling into its trap. Once when I was interrogated, the evil policemen finally unfolded their evil intention, “We’re not at enmity with you. We only want to abolish the Church of Almighty God. We hope you can turn to our side.” Hearing their devilish words, I was grieved and indignant, “God created men and has been supplying and leading men till today. Now God comes to save men he created from the abyss of misery. What’s wrong with it? Why should he be hated and condemned by these devils? We’re God’s created beings. It’s right and proper to follow God and worship God. Why does satan hinder us so wildly, even depriving us of the freedom to follow God? Now it attempts to let me be their puppet of attacking God. The CCP government is really a gang of evil spirits and demons that oppose God obstinately. They’re too evil and too reactionary!” At the moment, I felt unspeakably distressed in my heart, and just wanted to do my best to stand testimony for God to comfort his heart. Seeing that I still said nothing, the evil policemen adopted a psychological tactic on me. Through China Mobile Company they found my husband. Then, they brought my husband and child there and asked them to persuade me. Deluded by them, my husband who didn’t oppose my believing in God in the past kept trying to persuade me, “I beg you to stop believing. Even if you don’t care about me, you should think about our child. Having an imprisoned mother, he’ll be greatly influenced….” I knew that my husband said such words due to ignorance, so I interrupted him, saying, “Don’t you know me? We’ve lived together for so many years. Have you ever seen me do anything lawless? For some things, if you don’t know, don’t speak carelessly.” Seeing that he couldn’t persuade me, my husband left a ruthless word to me, “If you insist, I’ll divorce you!” The word “divorce” hurt me deeply, which made me hate the CCP government more bitterly: It fabricates rumors and slanders and sows discord; as a result, my husband hates God’s work so severely that he speaks out such a heartless word to me. The CCP government is really the arch-criminal of inciting people and offending Heaven, and is the chief culprit of destroying the relationship between my husband and me. At the thought of that, I no longer refuted him but just said calmly, “You just go back with our child.” Seeing that their trick didn’t work, the evil policemen were so angry that they paced up and down in front of the desk and roared at me ferociously, “We’ve gone to so much trouble but still got no word. If you still refuse to say, we’ll convict you as the head of this area and say that you’re a political criminal. If you don’t tell today, you’ll have no opportunity in the future!” No matter how they snarled and roared, I just prayed to God in my heart, asking God to strengthen my faith.
In the interrogation, a hymn of God’s word was always leading me within, “The end-time work requires your great faith and your great love; being slightly careless, you will stumble…. Men have to go through all kinds of refinings and have the faith greater than Job’s. It requires men to endure great sufferings and suffer all kinds of torments, and no matter when, they will not leave God. Only when they all can obey unto death and have great faith in God will this stage of work end.” (from “What God Perfects Is Faith” in Follow the Lamb and Sing New Songs) Because God’s words gave me faith and strength, I was quite strong in the course of the interrogation. But after getting back to the cell, I couldn’t but feel somewhat weak and sad: It seems that my husband is really going to divorce me. I’ll have no family in the future…. I don’t know how long I’ll be sentenced this time. In agony, I recalled God’s words, “You should know how Peter felt at that time: He was extremely grieved and no longer sought any future or any blessings, and did not go after worldly fame and gain, fortune and pleasure, or wealth and honor, but only pursued to live out a most meaningful life, that is, requiting God’s love and offering to God what was most, most valuable to him, and he would be satisfied.” (from “The Course of Peter’s Knowing ‘Jesus’” in The Word Appears in the Flesh) Peter’s deed deeply moved me and stirred up my will to give up everything to satisfy God, “Yes, when Peter was extremely grieved, he could still bear pain to satisfy God, without considering about his future, destiny, or personal interests, and so finally he was crucified upside down and bore a good testimony for God. Today I’m fortunate to follow the incarnated God and have enjoyed God’s boundless supply of life, grace, and blessings, but I’ve offered nothing for God. Now is just the time for me to stand testimony. Shouldn’t I satisfy God once? Will I miss the opportunity and regret all my life?” Thinking of that, I made a resolution before God, “O God! I’m willing to imitate Peter. Whatever my outcome is, divorced or imprisoned, I won’t betray you!” After the prayer, a great strength welled up in my heart. I no longer thought if I would be sentenced or how long it would be and no longer thought if I could go home for reunion. I only thought that as long as I stayed in the devil’s den, I would bear testimony for God, and that even if I had to be imprisoned for life, I wouldn’t yield to satan. When I was truly ready to fight it out, I tasted God’s tender love. One afternoon a few days later, the officer suddenly said to me, “Pack up your things. You can go home.” I couldn’t believe my ears! Before releasing me, the evil policemen took out a document and asked me to sign it. I saw that it said clearly, “Acquitted because of insufficient evidence.” At the sight of that, I was extremely excited. Once again I saw God’s almightiness and faithfulness: Whoever gives up his life can cross it securely. Finally, that spiritual war concluded with satan’s being defeated and God’s being glorified!
After experiencing the CCP police’s arrest and persecution for thirty-six days, I had a true knowledge of the CCP government’s reactionary substance of being ferocious and atrocious and acting against Heaven. Hence, I had a bitter hatred toward it. I knew in that tribulation, it was God who accompanied me all along and inspired and guided me all the time, so that I overcame satan’s afflictions and temptations step by step. It made me truly feel that God’s word is man’s life and man’s strength! I also truly knew that God rules over and controls everything. No matter how tricky satan is, it’s God’s defeated opponent forever. Originally, it attempted to force me to betray and reject God by torturing my flesh frenziedly, but its cruel tortures not only didn’t break me down, but instead tempered my will all the more. Meanwhile, it made me see clearly its devilish face and know God’s love and salvation. I thanked God from my heart for arranging all those for me, so that I gained a most precious wealth of life. I made a resolution inwardly, “No matter how many persecutions and tribulations there may be in the way ahead, I’ll follow God unswervingly and preach the gospel as ever to repay God’s great love!”
From The Overcomers’ Testimonies
Recommendation:Eastern Lightning
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.