Who Knows the Motherly Heart of God
By Qingxin, Henan Province
In the past, I didn’t understand God’s work of saving mankind, thinking that if someone reveals corruption or commits transgressions in their duty that bring harm to the church’s work, that person will face the retribution they deserve, or that they will be stripped of their duty or be subjected to punishment. Because of this erroneous viewpoint, I was always afraid of slipping up in my work and being dismissed or sent back home, so I thought of a little “trick”: Whenever I did something wrong, I would try my best to not let the leaders know first, and scramble to make up for it myself and do my utmost to make it right. Wouldn’t that then help me hold on to my duty? So every time I gave reports on my work, I would downplay big issues and simply erase the small ones. During the times I was passive I would do my best to cover it up in front of the leaders and present myself as very active and positive, terrified that they would know I was in an abnormal state and think that I could not do the work, and then remove me from my position. That is how I became very carefully guarded, tiptoeing around the leaders and God in everything I did.